time to take a break from crochet.
Okay, as a person who suffers from this I can say as I hear the thump, thump, thump of the music that has been on for now 9 hours and 9 minutes, this is a miserable condition. Misophonia is real, it's not me being obnoxious or a generally angry person.
Misophonia is an auditory condition that is made up of certain trigger sounds that create a rage when heard by the sufferer. It's often called sound sensitivity but I think this term although accurate, dismisses this as a true condition. I still don't know if it's auditory or mental though in my opinion it's a bit of both.
Today as the music mentioned above played/plays I have been thinking about how it makes me feel. I feel angry, I have violent thoughts against the person playing the music although I don't know him/her and would never act on them. I have a headache. I haven't been able to concentrate all day on anything else but the music no matter how hard I have tried. I am wearing ear plugs but I still hear the music. I am trying to decide if I hear it in my head or if I am actually hearing it though. I have determined today that Misophonia is a miserable condition that causes me to avoid certain noises and people like the plague. It has changed my life in a negative way. I don't even enjoy going out to eat with friends. As a matter of fact the only real friend I have lives a few states away and I am almost friendless partly because of the Misophonia. I can't even enjoy holidays with family because of this. For example, on the fourth of July a little boy was eating crunchy food. I sat with my fingers in my ears like a disobedient child would do when they don't want to listen to their parents. Just for good measure and partly for personal therapy reasons I want to finish this off with a list of my triggers.
1. obviously, bass filled music.
2. ANY crunchy food.
3. rude people who chew like a cow chewing cud.
4. bouncing balls
5. hammering a nail.
6. believe it or not, techno music. (repetitive beats)
7. wind chimes
8. squeaky belts on cars
9. reving engines.
10. sniffling (probably should be number one)
11. the noise people make when they suck their teeth.
12. people chewing gum
13. snoring (which has caused arguments between me and my husband
14. forks scraping plates
and the list goes on....
But the thing is, Misophonia is not only auditory for me. I have visual triggers too and most people with this condition complain of the same thing. My visual triggers are...
1. tapping feet/knees/legs in general.
2. something barely in front of the TV screen
3. air freshners on rear view mirrors.
4. again, bouncing balls.
5. hands to close to my face.
BUT Misophonia is also not just auditory or visual.... it's also motion and sensation triggered.
1. when my husband taps his leg against mine repeatedly.
2. if the wind blows my mobile home I can't sleep.
3. if the dog pants while laying on the bed.
4. if there is a single crumb in the bed (which is why my nickname was the princess and the pea)
5. if my socks are crooked.
So really, today I realize that I'm either completely crackers or there is really something to all this. Doctors, figure this out please!
